Real Estate Humor – 5 Property Descriptions You Won’t Ever See.

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Crafting the perfect property description is… an art. To paint with words all the beautiful things about a house is easy when the house has many beautiful things. But sometimes it’s harder to find the gem beneath the dirt. And then polish it to such a shine that no one notices the dirt. There are ways. Sometimes it’s not what we say, but how we say it that matters…

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What You Won’t Ever See:

Tiny, windowless hut. Poor lighting, roof may leak.
Little room for expansion, but at least it’s cheap!

little house

What you would see: 

Affordable starter! Cozy home with a beautiful yard.
Opportunity to increase value.  Prime location.
Won’t last long at this price!

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What You Won’t Ever See:

Abandoned cabin. Features one straight fence.
Overgrown yard. Roof issues. Perfectly suited for demo.

old-house-13186084721wl

What you would see: 

Little house on the prairie!  Rustic log cabin
boasts hand-hewn timbers. Fenced, treed yard.
A handyman’s retreat!

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What You Won’t Ever See:

Floating picnic table. Features roof and flag pole.
No oars. No motor. Must be moved.

picnic-house

What You Would See:

Rare offering! Bohemian houseboat now available.
Vessel features solid wood construction. Newer roof and flagpole.
Simple floor plan allows room to grow.

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What You Won’t Ever See:

Prison-like brick cube. Features creeping moss.
Freshly painted-over windows create a sense of mystery.
Dual chimneys reminiscent of German labor camps.

stone house

What You Would See:

Own your very own castle in the country!
Turn of the century cobble stone beauty features
solid construction,  some recent paint, and two fireplaces.

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What You Won’t Ever See:

Attention carnies! Circus themed party house just for you.
Complete with fun house mirrors. Features colorful row of beehive holders.

het-klompenhuis

Calling all artists! This whimsical haven
features turn of the century shutters, wood heat
and a whole lot of bling.

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