Rural people are… different from city folk. They use bathroom fixtures as lawn décor and ratty sofas for fireside furniture. I work with all kinds of people, but have a definite soft spot for good old rednecks. And, as a rural agent, I’ve collected a few stories from the backwoods.
Once, I showed a rural property in the woods. The owners were out of the country for weeks at a time, and I was showing the place to a local couple. They poked their heads into each room, carefully exploring the house. The wife and I were admiring the master bedroom and discussing features of the house when the husband entered the room looking pretty nervous. We fell silent.
“I… had to go potty” said the grown man sheepishly. I froze in surprise. (What would you say?) I searched for words, finally landing on,
“I’m not your kindergarten teacher.” But I couldn’t say that!
“No…” He leaned forward, eyes widening “I had to GO. I couldn’t wait.”
At that moment an aroma wafted into the room and I realized what he meant.
“Oh.” Again, I searched for words. Then I remembered a critical detail. The homeowners, in their absence from the country, had turned a few things off.
“Oh! The toilet doesn’t flush!” I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I was embarrassed that I had laughed so I said “I thought this only happened in the movies! ”
While the couple exchanged glances and furrowed eyebrows, I phoned for advice. We got the breakers turned on, and all was well.
Maybe it was that we were simply enjoying the sweet, oh-so-fresh country air, but our walk back to the vehicle was … quiet.