Normally, getting an offer to purchase on your house is exciting. After waiting all that time for the sale, finally there’s light at the end of the tunnel! Waiting for your house to sell was hard. But do you know what’s even more difficult? Receiving an offer that’s subject to the sale of the buyer’s home. It’s waiting for the buyer’s house to sell before they can buy yours.
My heart goes out to every seller in that stressful, helpless state of almost-sold-but-maybe-soon limbo. It’s a hard place to be.
Recently, my seller client had two offers on their property. Both were subject to the sale of the buyer’s home. An offer was accepted – which sounds exciting, but – then the anxious wait began. They waited for that buyer’s house to sell. They waited, waited, and waited some more. It was anxious for me too, because there’s nothing I can do to help them sell their house. I had no influence on the advertising or marketing that is or isn’t being done for their home or the number of people who are shopping for that buyer’s kind of house. All my house-marketing prowess and fancy tools don’t help the other agent’s client. So we waited…
The weird thing is that those buyers are sellers too, in that same limbo of waiting for their own house to sell, and probably getting the same kinds of subject-to-house-sale offers Emanuel others get. So it can become a domino effect of everyone waiting for everyone else’s house to sell.
And I get it. If I’m wanting to move, I’d want to find a place before selling too. I understand. Then again, after seeing how it all shakes out, maybe I wouldn’t. Those kinds of arrangements are extremely hard on the seller. The tension of living in that almost-sold limbo is unreal.
The Secret Advantage Buyers Can Have
When many offers are conditional on the sale of the buyer’s house, and when that common experience is stressful, someone with no such condition can pretty much rule the world. Well, at least they can have their free pick of what to buy, and maybe even slash the price a bit.
Because any offer that doesn’t make the seller wait for months and months is something sellers (and their agents!) are EAGER for. They’ll LEAP at it. Every single agent is going to prefer an offer without that condition. If you want sellers to accept an offer subject to the sale of your house, expect to pay top dollar for the inconvenience. If you don’t put them through the wait of your sale though, they might take a slice off the price for the certainty of that offer over the others that may or may not end up going through.
It’s a powerful advantage for a buyer to have.
The advantage comes at a cost, though. It means having to sell before buying. If you don’t find your next home quickly, it might mean moving somewhere temporary while you shop, and moving a second time into that final home.
Why would buyers want to sell first?
The advantage to buyers for this two-move inconvenience is massive. First, it frees them financially and gives them time to search at their leisure. Secondly, it gives them the power to make an offer others can’t – one without conditions – the offer every seller and agent WISHES for. Not only that, but it also gives a competitive advantage over other offers.
Let’s say the house a buyer wants already has an accepted offer subject to the sale of a home. You can put in an offer. The first offer will then be given 48 hours to remove their condition. It’s highly unlikely that condition will be satisfied in 48 hours, so yours will be the one left standing. You win!
Oh – and let’s not forget that that kind of offer is a powerful negotiating tool to hopefully get the purchase price down a few notches!
You find the property you want. This is it. It’s the one. It has everything you want. Everything pales in comparison. So, you put in an offer subject to the sale of your house. Your house takes a while to sell. Another buyer comes along and writes an offer and they do not have a house to sell. You are given a notice to remove your conditions within 48hrs. You cannot afford two mortgages. You lose the house of your dreams. You don’t find another property like it. LOSS. Now you have the emotional consequences of dealing with losing your dream home.
The bottom line is that buying and selling is a stressful process either way, but you can choose which stress you’d rather: the stress of waiting for your house to sell while you wait for your buyer’s house to sell in order to satisfy conditions on your offer , or the stress of selling first, and risking moving twice while you search for that just-for-you home.
My guess is that you are also more likely to cave to a lower offer on your house when you are feeling pressure and at risk of losing the home you want.
If you’ve got to endure stress anyway, it may as well be with a big advantage in your back pocket.
Have you ever sold before buying? Would you consider it?
I sat alone in a room with the clock. Just me and the clock. For hours each day. Its loud ticking reminded me of every mind-numbing second that slipped by as I recovered from hip surgery.
If you’ve never had hip surgery, recovery basically involves one simple instruction: whatever you do, DON’T BEND! A 90 degree bend – even to just sit on a chair – could pop that thing out of its socket and next you’d be blinded and howling by the searing pain. Or so I imagined. I didn’t want to find out, so I didn’t bend.
(Think for a moment of how many times you bend in a day, by the way. To sit on the couch. Use the toilet. Get in a vehicle. Even eat a bowl of soup. Even with some handy-dandy tricks and tools at my disposal, it was a challenge, folks!)
So I lived in our living room, laid back in our recliner or on the hospital bed we had brought in special for me. Once I got over the weird feeling of living in the main room, it was actually pleasant to be surrounded by our walls of windows and enjoy our gorgeous country view anytime.
There was a problem though.
I had to be still and quiet and alone for most of every day for weeks.
Here’s the thing. I’ve always been the busy, hard-working type, even before my single-mom years required it. I love to work hard, bustle from task to task, and be highly productive. I’ve also adored being with people.
Sitting by myself unable to work nearly drove me plumb insane that first month. I wished more people would visit. I desperately wanted to climb into the car and grab a coffee with someone. Or show someone a house. Or do… something. With anyone. The walls seemed like they were closing in on me some days and I felt like life was passing me by. It was difficult. Uncomfortable. I started to hate the sound of that clock announcing every second I was missing out on.
After a couple of weeks though, something weird happened.
I began to enjoy the quiet. Solitude grew on me. The joy I discovered in that peace and calm was beautiful, but it also frightened me. Was this the new me? I was turning into a hermit, and I liked it. Would I even be able to enjoy the bustle of my work and the busy social calendar once I returned to work? When I would think about work, I could somehow only remember the long hours and stress I would return to. I wasn’t so sure I wanted to go back.
Over a few months, I returned to work. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my love of my work and people remained intact. In fact, I think the whole hip surgery and recovery deepened my enjoyment of work and my appreciation of people.
The blessing of hip surgery for me was the gift of time to rest and refresh – something I didn’t realize I needed so badly and didn’t know how to do. Recovery forced me to stop and smell the daisies.
The blessing of surgery also was to remind me what I love about my work – the people.
When a person is in a great deal of constant pain, it’s difficult to remain positive. Heck, it’s difficult to even SEE the positive. Now that the pain is gone (thank you, Lord!), I have eyes to see the good stuff again – and that good stuff is always the people I get to work with.
There’s something deeply moving and intimate about helping that young married couple find a home. She’ll have a tummy round with expectation, and their eyes will also be wide with expectation as they search for the home they will grow their family in. Create memories in. Make love in. It will be their own little nest, and I adore being welcomed into that very personal experience. It feeds my soul.
They say we don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone. I would agree. My hip replacement journey helped me appreciate my health, my career, and the people I get to serve every day. Thankfully, it wasn’t gone for too long, and I get to return to the health and work and people I love.
Name a time you’ve been pushed out of your comfort zone.
Did it help grow your appreciation?
Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate
Eight years ago, I had never sent an email.
Or owned a computer.
I’d never had internet or been on social media.
(Yes, there are people who choose such and can even survive like that.)
Then I decided to make a major mid-life shift and venture into the great big career of real estate, which meant having to do all of those things every day. Eek!
I knew going in, my number one weakness was that I had zero tech skills. Like, none. I remember those first weeks learning how to use a computer. We’re talking about learning simple things like where to find the on switch. How to send an email. How to Google search something.
One day, at the first office I worked at, two people came back from a conference saying Facebook would be key to our industry in the coming years. So I started an account. I never realized how important it would be all these years later.
I smile when I think about how little I knew because now, people actually seek me out for tech help. Peers ask me how to market online, how to use social media, and how to use apps for business like I do. Funny. Just eight short years ago I didn’t have a clue.
But I’m stimulated by personal growth and energized by trying new things, so it was a joy to chase down knowledge. I took courses, pursued knowledge, and practiced what I’d learned and became good at it.
I was approaching fifty years old when I made that major career change. I was 46 years old when I used a computer for the first time. And guess what. All those things they say about old dogs and new tricks? It’s LIES! All lies!!
And this is the reason I’m telling you this at all – my hope is to release you from any lie that’s holding you back.
If deep inside you’re languishing in a circumstance you hate or secretly want to try something new or weird, but are too afraid, I desperately want you to know you don’t have to be trapped!
It’s scary to take those first steps into uncharted territory, trust me, I know!
But when you walk through the fear, even if you’re trembling with each step, you’ll come out on the other side and discover a load of good stuff. You’ll be glad you risked it and tried that new thing.
What’s one time you faced your fear and came through to the good stuff?
Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate
Eight years ago I made a massive career change.
I was 46 years old.
When I confided in a friend about my desire to shift careers, she said “Do it before you’re fifty. In your forties people see you as experienced. After your fifties, starting on a new path is more difficult. People see you differently.” I took her advice and started looking for new opportunities.
Drawn to careers in which I could help others in need, I sought out social work type vocations. Things like working as a health proctor or in a women’s crisis center. I even looked into becoming a social worker.
Employers said the weirdest thing when I applied though, “We know what you would have been making in your past profession. You won’t be satisfied with what we pay.”
Stunned, I thanked them and left office after office. How could they possibly know what would satisfy me? I was seeking work with meaning – something that satisfied my soul – not some dollar amount. I wanted to pour myself out to help people; whatever it paid was secondary.
Then I came upon the profession of real estate – a unique way I could help people with an important need and connect with them in a meaningful way. (Little did I know the work would involve a lot of the emotional elements of social work I’d initially sought.) It helped, too, that my main concern wasn’t money because that first year was a rough ride!
Here’s the funny thing you might not believe.
8 years ago, I’d never sent an email.
Or turned on a computer.
I’d never sold a home and had no clue how to market online.
Now, after years of learning and trying to keep at the front of new trends, I have a reputation for being tech savvy. People seek me out to ask me how to use an ipad for business or how to leverage a blog or social media to connect with new clients. Amazing what can happen in 8 short years!
I have to stop right there and encourage you
If there is a step you’re afraid to take or a change you’re afraid to make, I’ll be the first to tell you – it’s possible. Do it! Take a risk! If I can become tech savvy when my starting point was looking for a computer’s on/off switch, I’m telling you – you’re more capable than you think.
Since I’m celebrating the 8 year mark, can I just spend a minute with you sharing my gratitude?
I’m so thankful for the opportunity to meet people from so many different countries and circumstances. This month I sold a home to a couple who moved here from Mexico City. To be on that journey with them – to witness all the excitement and joy of starting their new life in a new country – was an honor.
The newlyweds, empty-nesters, and growing families – many of the people I’ve connected with – have been a blessing to me. It’s hard to express the joy one feels, being invited into the personal, sometimes even intimate experience of selecting a home. I can tell you though, it’s the people and relationships that fill me up and satisfy me and are my driving reason for what I do.
I look at my thick binder full of legal documents, and I’m grateful I know what they’re all for. That first year, boy, I’ll tell you… If anyone had handed me this stack of paper and said, “Here. Know this. All of it. Know what they do, when to use them, and what every legal line means,” I might have run screaming for the hills.
Thankfully, no one did that. I learned in steps and pieces, like we all do, and now I’m so glad I don’t have to wonder anymore, “What the heck is THAT paper for?” Knowledge IS power!
As my business grew and I became super busy, I began to lose my personal life to real estate. Weekends, days off didn’t exist for me in those years. It took over my life and I was starting to feel burned out. My friends and family were getting lost in the chaos. Something needed to change.
I needed help. Really, I needed a day off!
That’s when God directed me to agents Wes and Clare, who helped me immensely, providing trustworthy staff to take my workload one day a week. I began to enjoy the thrill and joy of a regular weekly day off.
More than that, I also learned a lot about leadership from them, and was greatly encouraged. It can be a lonely business and sometimes you need more support than you can muster on your own. Self-motivation is necessary for this line of work, but we’re also created for relationship and we need each other.
For the help of Wes, Clare, Yvette, Eniko, and many others who have contributed to the success of my career and family life, I am deeply grateful.
Returning from Surgery
Oh – and then there was my hip surgery! For several years, hip pain made my work difficult. I clenched my jaw and carried on though, because what else am I going to do? That’s life.
After surgery, as I healed at home, my life became quiet. I wasn’t dashing all around the province all day like I was used to, and I wasn’t talking to fifty or more people every day either. Life became quiet and still.
At first, it drove me nuts. I like to be busy and be with people. Then after a few weeks, the quiet grew on me and I savored the peace and solitude. I started to worry. Was this the new me? Would I be able to enjoy bustle of work when I came back?
Now, recovered from surgery and back in the swing of things (and feeling awesome, by the way!) I’m connecting with people every day again, and I LOVE it. Every time I connect with someone, I get that jolt of joy and love my work all over again.
A lot can happen in the small space of a decade!
I hope you’re encouraged by some of this. You’re not too old, to post-surgery, to unknowledgeable, or too alone to make a change. I was all of those things and then some.
The only thing that might hold you back is if you’re too afraid.
At the risk of sounding cliché, don’t let fear keep you from the good stuff on the other side.
-Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate
My story was featured in the Top Agent Magazine On the week week of April 23, 2018. You can see the article when you click on the image above.
Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate
Talking to Real Estate agents about commissions can be kind of… uncomfortable.
To discuss commissions with an agent can feel like asking them to hand over their paycheck for inspection and approval. It’s much easier to just swallow the questions and go with whatever the agent says, isn’t it?
But I know you still have those questions. And I care about helping you make informed decisions. I hate seeing people get manipulated or taken advantage of just because they don’t know the facts.
So let’s do it. Let’s talk about some of those burning questions about REALTOR® commissions.
What is the going rate for commissions? You won’t like this answer. It’s negotiable. One of the considerations is what competing sellers are offering as a commission to competing agents who may have a buyer for their property. In areas where properties frequently sell in a week, the commission my be lower than in an area where it frequently takes months. The main reason for this is that the longer a property is listed, the more it will cost the agent to market it. Those costs need to be reflected in the commission. I have personally charged as low as 3% for a family member (we still offer 2.5% to the selling agent) and as high as 7%. For the record, if I did not give birth to you, I will absolutely not list as low as three percent for you regardless of where or what you are selling!
Why do commissions vary so much?
There are a few reasons for the variation. One is local market. Other considerations are:
-What the agent offers. If no marketing is planned, the commission may be less. More marketing will cost the agent and need to be paid for out of their commission.
-Greed. Whether it’s wanting the high dollar (through a higher commission) or to get the most listings (perhaps through a lower commission), it’s a factor sometimes.
-Negotiation. Sometimes a client can negotiate a commission up or down to get the services they want. -There may be more than one person being paid to work for you. Some teams have administrative staff working behind the scenes that also get paid.
How much do Realtors Make?
Not as much as you think. The commission charged is shared between broker of the listing agent and the broker of the selling agent. Often it is shared 50/50. (At 5% that would leave the broker with 2.5%) The broker then pays the sales staff a percentage of that amount. That percentage varies depending on the office policies and agreements between office and agent. Most work on a commission split which can be as high as 50% of their paycheck! Subtract all the advertising and marketing expenses (professional photography, advertising, signage, etc.) incurred to sell the property. (This can range from hundreds to thousands of dollars)
Out of what’s left, the agent must pay mandatory licensing fees, franchise fees and, very often, they are also required to pay rent and fees to their broker. You know – office space, etc. Then there is just the everyday business expenses like vehicle insurance, car payments, phone bill, internet, fuel, office supplies, etc. Do the math. These kinds of numbers are why it’s a dog-eat-dog business. This is the stuff that sends a lot of newbies packing in their first year.
When all is said and done the Real Estate Professional may only net approximately 20%-30% of the gross commission collected at the end of the year. Hopefully that will be enough to cover the income tax payable to the government.
Are Commissions negotiable? Yes, but if you’re going to negotiate, I have three words for you. Do it carefully.
It can be risky to demand of and stomp on someone who you expect to work for you.
Not unlike offending the dentist with all the sharp tools in your mouth, or blasting the restaurant cook and demanding a new meal, making huffy demands is risky. What you don’t know about commissions – and the message they send to other agents – is dangerous to your deal.
Basically, if you’re going to negotiate, basically be respectful. Real estate agents are people too. And some of them really do have your best interests at heart.
Why should I pay that much just to have them sell it in a week? Review the answer to “How much do REALTORS® make?” Those numbers all apply whether the property sells in a week or 10months. The only difference is that the 10 months didn’t come by and eat up all the agent’s profits. Good for them. They got paid.
So did you. Go celebrate!
HINT, HINT, NUDGE, NUDGE…Perhaps it may be important to ask the question, “What services do you offer at that commission?” There is a vast difference in what services different agents offer at the same commission. You can pay the same commission to many agents but you won’t get 5 star service from all of them.
Don’t make the mistake of being so focused on how to get the lowest commission just to find out that you got no VALUE for the commission.
In conclusion, most Real Estate Professionals will charge you the same Commissions as the competitors. You can hire a rookie or an experienced agent for the same commission. It would seem more logical to look for the agent who will do the most work for their commissions.
Of course you will want to be sure that their work results in sales.
I will make it easy to ask us. You can request our digital pre-listing package ,otherwise known as a resumé, to learn about our services and qualifications.
Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate
I love getting dirt under my fingernails in the flower garden.
And the way dirt crumbles in my hand.
I especially love the way weeds pull right out sometimes, root and all.
Recently, when I was down on my hands and knees digging in the dirt, my little dog joined me. At first, she supervised nearby for a few minutes, possibly to see what treasure I would unearth. As I continued pressing my hands and tools into the soil, pulling out weeds, and humming, she decided to dive in right next to me.
She claimed a patch of weeds right beside me and set her paws to furiously digging. Dirt and leaves flew everywhere, even onto me. I paused my weeding to watch (while guarding my eyes from flinging flecks of dirt). She worked and worked, finally digging a little pit for herself. Then she stood in the middle of it and plunked herself down, nestling as deeply as she could into the cool earth.
I smiled, petted her, and returned to pulling weeds.
In the quiet, I thought about how she and I were both digging in the garden but for different reasons. I want the flowers to be visible and not crowded out by weeds, and she wants a cool place to sit.
We all have different motivations for doing what we do.
Many people can do the same thing, but for different reasons.
I’m a real estate agent, but my why might surprise you.
It’s not for the money (It’s not as much as you think anyway)
It’s not for the glamour (People tend to see agents more as salespeople than industry professionals)
And it’s definitely not for the primo hours and awesome vacation times (Days off can be hard to come by. Heck, attending a wedding uninterrupted can be hard to come by!)
No, I’m an agent in spite of all these challenges.
Because I’m a helper and encourager at heart, and I love, love, love to help people find their perfect-for-them home. As an agent, I get to protect people from pitfalls, walk them through scary and difficult circumstances, and make them super crazy happy.
Those are the things that satisfy my soul that I count as excellent results, and that drive me forward each day.
What motivates you in your work?
Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate
I LOVE my job – It’s got adventure, variety, and the deep satisfaction of helping people find their perfect-for-them home.
Last month put that love to the test though, I’ve gotta say. From every angle, side, and corner, various Boogiemen leapt from the shadows.
Here are a couple of general examples of conversations that may or may not have happened recently.
Client: “Hi, Tina?”
Me: “Hi, how are you?”
Client: “Hurry!!! I NEED to see this house RIGHT NOW!!!!”
Me: “Umm… you know people still live in it and need some notice, right? They might have babies napping or–”
Client: “–I don’t care! I’m parked outside of their house right now! Get over here!”
Me: *bangs head on desk*
Me: “Hi. My client would like to make an offer on your listing”
Agent: “We already have someone else interested.”
Me: “Uh… it’s for sale, is it not?”
Agent: “Yes, but they don’t want offers.”
Me: (I wonder if the agent is blocking offers from other buyers so they can double end the deal… His clients wouldn’t appreciate that. Too bad they’ll never know. Man, I can’t wait until they make that illegal (like they are about to in Ontario.) In the meantime…
Me: “Okay, I’ll bring an offer. My buyer will pay every dollar the seller is asking and then some.”
Agent: “Go ahead, but they’re not going to take it.”
Me: *bangs head on desk*
But then there was the buyer who said something shocking to me this week.
We’d been working together to find them a house, and it was… difficult. They did not have access to internet and that felt crippling. They’d had a nightmarish, stressful relationship with the builder of their home right from day one. For years, that stress robbed them of the joy of living in their custom built home. Now they just wanted out.
Because of their worn-down, stressful state, they were not only deeply sad and exhausted, but also in a desperate hurry. Not a good combination. They had three weeks to find a new house.
That’s like giving yourself ten minutes for a 1-hour grocery shop. It’s insane. Like, reality TV, run through the aisles like a madman, plowing down women and children kind of crazy.
So here we were. Dashing like madmen.
Whose hair was on fire.
The hardest part for me was seeing how the anxiety had pulled their faces into hard lines over the years. They weren’t the most expressive people, and I’d never seen them smile. Not once. Years of annoyance can make a person cranky and it made me sad that their home-owning experience had done that.
Plus, knowing they would probably settle, desperate for a new house, I was sad they would likely repeat the disappointing experience of owning a home they didn’t want.
We hunted. Looked at loads of houses. In person.
When we finally came across the one that struck them as home, I was excited because I knew something about it they didn’t.
“Ah, I know the guy who built that house. He’s a new, young builder trying hard to please people. He does quality work and treats people well.” I said.
That was all they needed to know – that they’d be treated well for once.
The buying process was difficult – sometimes it seems like agents don’t want to sell their listings, and this was one of those times. After working and working at it though, we did manage to get the house.
* * *
One week after the couple moved into their new home, I was walking up their sidewalk to check in. (They appreciated the personal face-to-face approach.) As I neared the front door, I wondered if this stressed out, anxious, desperate couple with their faces pulled in hard lines would have anything good to say about our working together. Had it been pleasant at all? Would they feel they had been treated well or that the whole thing was worth it?
With all these thoughts swirling in my mind, I rang the bell. The door opened, and there stood before me a woman I almost didn’t recognize. Where before a permanent frown had been carved into her face now shone a relaxed, upturned smile. Her eyes that had looked dead and empty now seemed to shine, almost laugh.
I mentally willed my mouth not to gape open in shock. “How’s the new house?” I asked.
That’s when she said what I never thought I’d hear from her.
Her smile expanded into a full out grin. “It feels like home.” She sighed and her eyes went dreamy, “I’m happy.”
I nearly cried on the spot. “Wow – after a week it’s feeling like home already?”
“From the first day it felt like home.” She raised a palm to her chest as though speaking of a loved one, “Tina, the chains have come off and we are free. … I’m happy. So happy. The grandchildren love it here too!”
I almost burst into tears. She was happy?
That moment was worth every difficult, head-banging, hair-pulling moment before it.
THIS. This is why I do what I do. This is why I love working as a real estate agent.
I floated back to my car and through the rest of my week, grateful for the reminder, blessed by the satisfaction of having helped someone and then being able to see that dramatic transformation.
These are the moments that fuel us through the hard days, aren’t they?
What one memory or thought keeps you going through your hair-pulling days?
Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate .
We all face obstacles.
A controlling parent, a cheating colleague, lying clients, or a bullying boss.
When you’re in it, especially if stress and difficulty come from multiple sides, it can feel like the most miserable isolation. But the truth is that none of us is alone. We all struggle.
So what do you do when the pressure becomes relentless and you start to feel like you’re drowning in negativity?
You don’t drown in water by being in it. You drown in water by staying in it.
-Edwin Louis Cole
Many years ago, I was in just such a place – drenched in deep, extreme negativity. The enormous personal stress resulted in my losing 50lbs in a month. I couldn’t eat – my body wouldn’t allow it. My insides felt shaky – like I’d swallowed a phone stuck on vibrate. And all I could think about was the very difficult circumstance that was turning my heart inside out.
Then something happened that changed my life.
A friend noticed and did something. She saw what a mess I was and how it was damaging my body.
“You need to go to a doctor!” she said.
I insisted that I didn’t – that I could handle it. She insisted more though, and made me go. She drove me to the doctor’s office. She sat with me in the room. She forced me to get help.
And it rescued me.
Most of the stress and difficulty we face in our work and relationships isn’t that extreme. But it’s critical to recognize when we’re maxed out on stress and negativity, and to take action before we make things worse – for others and for ourselves.
How to Recharge in the Face of Obstacles
Be Your Own Friend
I was lucky that time to have a friend not only notice, but then help me initiate change.
We can’t wait for a masked hero to arrive though. Most of the time we have to be our own friend, noticing that we are a mess and that something has to give.
Give Yourself Permission
I don’t know why we find it so hard to give ourselves permission to be wounded; to feel hurt. I’ve got news for you: humans hurt, hearts break, and we’re not robots who can flick a switch to make it all stop.
Healing can only happen when we realize we need it.
Needing help does not mean you’re weak. In fact, it’s what’s going to strengthen you. Admitting your wounds is itself an act of strength and the next step to progress – no guilt required. Give yourself permission to need help.
There is a time to take a break. When you’re slammed from all different sides, it’s tough to pull out a smile. We have to recognize when our bodies, emotions, thoughts need a break.
When we are in a bad mental state, we’re probably not the most effective in our work and relationships anyway. We need to invest in our own well being with the gift of a rest.
Let It Look Different
Know that your rest and recharge time doesn’t have to look like sunbathing on a beach in Cancun.
It doesn’t have to be two weeks long. Do and be what refreshes you.
For some, it’s going to be retreating to a cabin with a stack of romance novels. Or others it looks like camping out in a recliner for a few days, refusing to cook or clean, so their body can heal.
Recently, I took a break to recharge, and spent that time attending classes, learning online, brainstorming my brand positioning, and product development. That – especially the brand positioning and marketing – is what revives my motivation. It refreshes my confidence in my abilities to excel, and fires me up to work with renewed gusto.
What refreshes you will be different than what works for others and that’s okay.
I’m curious – how to you recharge when facing obstacles?
Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate
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There are a lot of weird things about the real estate profession.
Like working side by side with your direct competitors under the same unified banner.
You’re on a team, but you’re also not.
Sure, there’s camaraderie, all of us being members of the real estate ‘sisterhood’, but here’s the thing.
Sometimes sisters fight.
Insecurities, miscommunication, and outright jealousy and fear can cause a lot of problems among humans. Even real estate agents. Even competitors.
We can’t avoid it, really. So the trick then isn’t to avoid competition or miscommunication, it’s trying to figure out how to disagree like grownups, and compete with sportsmanship.
I’ve seen my share of office feuds, both between agents in the same office and agents in different brokerages. Sometimes it’s frustrating to watch, other times it’s heartbreaking to watch someone flush their reputation and professional relationships down the crapper for a measly paycheque.
I’ve seen people huff and puff about ‘how dare so-and-so talk to THEIR client’ when the truth is that was never ‘their’ client. (Because first, people are not property to be claimed by real estate agents and second, saying hello to someone in the store does not a client or piece of property make) *rant over*
I’ve also been to countless meetings with other agents and was met with snarky attitudes, snide comments, and outright belligerence. Once I got over the shock of a fully grown adult behaving like a toddler in wingtips, I stored it in my memory as evidence of an important truth – one we all need to learn.
Agents, we need to get it through our thick, competitive heads, that we don’t need to steamroll and pull each other’s hair to make it!
We need to realize other agents are our not our enemies – they’re our best customers!
Why Competing Agents are our BEST Customers
1) They Cover You on a Day Off
Without some degree of teamwork (or shirking our clients), we won’t get a day off. We need each other. If you expect another agent to do anything on your behalf, you’d best maintain those relationships.
Someone whose client you poached, whose deal you tanked, or who you simply treated with disdain is not going to jump to help you.
2) They Bring Referrals!
Referrals from other agents is a huge resource for leads. Winnipeg agents occasionally send me leads so they don’t have to drive all the way to Steinbach for a showing. I absolutely want those! But, when I sell a house as a result of that referral, I absolutely give a referral fee to that agent. I treat them well and reward them for their efforts to work with me. And the people they send my way? I treat them with excellence too. Know what happens? Those agents don’t hesitate to send me referrals in the future.
(If I’d choose to be snippy, cheap, or treat their would-be clients poorly though, I could not expect that referral source to keep flowing!)
3) They Understand Loyalty
Some people put a lot of energy into ‘protecting’ their clients from being ‘snagged’ by another agent. I have a list of problems with this. Why would any agent put so much work into keeping someone who is so apparently disloyal (clients aren’t objects to be kept on a shelf anyway), when it’s so much easier, efficient, and rewarding to work with people you like and who like you – clients and agents.
Cultivate those relationships, and reap loyalty. (and so much more.)
We need every office to be willing to work with us – to be willing to bring offers and show our houses.
If another agent thinks you’re a pain in the a#$ to work with though, they might just resist showing your houses. They might just try to steer their clients to other options to avoid the unpleasant, sarcastic, snarky-attitude-ridden experience that is meeting with you.
4) Repeat Business. Like… A LOT.
Another huge reason other agents are our best customers is because they can repeatedly write offers on our listings. A buyer or seller will only do business with us once every few years at the most generally, but a realtor can do business with us many times!
Bottom line: We need each other. Let’s act like it.
Tina Plett, Sutton Group-Kilkenny Real Estate